1 00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:53,950 Well, Dick and Joanna, it looks like the three of us will be showering together 2 00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:54,950 tomorrow. 3 00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:03,310 Why is that, George? I still can't fix that water heater. 4 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:08,170 There's only enough hot water left for a quick soap and rinse. 5 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:12,610 How much is a new hot water heater? 6 00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:13,870 About $1 ,200. 7 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:15,710 Wow. 8 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,550 Will you wash my back? 9 00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:23,500 Maybe I should keep tinkering. 10 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:28,400 Well, isn't that new handyman coming today? Maybe he could help you. 11 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:29,920 He's not a handyman. 12 00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:33,300 He's a stonemason. He repairs fireplaces. 13 00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:35,200 I repair water heaters. 14 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:37,120 No, no, you don't, George. 15 00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:40,160 Low blow, Dick. 16 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,560 Honey, since we're doing repairs anyway, wouldn't this be a good time to print a 17 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,560 new brochure? 18 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,380 Now, what's wrong with the old brochure? Oh, it's so dated. Read this. 19 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,160 Coming soon, color television. 20 00:01:56,180 --> 00:02:00,080 Well, I guess we could spruce it up a little. Great, I'll rewrite the brochure 21 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,380 and take some pictures for the cover. 22 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,520 Joanna, you're not a photographer. 23 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,200 I think I have a very artistic eye. 24 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,880 Well, then open it the next time you try to take a picture. 25 00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:17,920 What's the haps, chaps? 26 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,840 I'm going to update the Inns brochure. Oh, did that color TV finally come in? 27 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,480 Hey, everybody. 28 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,980 This is Stoney, the stonemason. 29 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:30,960 Yo. 30 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,680 Yo to you. 31 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:35,720 How you doing? 32 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,740 Michael, is he a laborer? He said yo, didn't he? 33 00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:42,080 Welcome to the Stratford. 34 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,500 Thanks. 35 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,160 Hey. 36 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,100 Nice pipe wrench. 37 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,200 It was my dad's. Well, he had good taste. 38 00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:56,720 Hey, you're all right, Stoney. Do you know anything about hot water heaters? 39 00:02:56,940 --> 00:03:00,020 Sure. My pop was a hot water heater man. 40 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:03,140 The fireplace can wait. Come on. 41 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,100 I wonder if Hallmark makes a card for a moment like that. 42 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:25,720 Don't even try it. 43 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:31,420 I know your type. You wear a hard hat and say things to make me walk fast. 44 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:34,360 Broom. 45 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:39,640 Is that some macho wisecrack you use while you and your buddies are drinking 46 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:40,640 beer? 47 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,080 No, I just need a broom. 48 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,360 Oh. 49 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,120 Go get me one. 50 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,080 Just who do you think you're talking to? 51 00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:55,570 The maid. 52 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:01,590 Do I look like a maid? 53 00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:06,070 Well, yeah. 54 00:04:10,570 --> 00:04:12,590 Oh, stop begging. I'll get it. 55 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:20,050 Okay, now I want to get some indoor shots. 56 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,760 You got pictures of me waiting to the postman, pointing to the end, and making 57 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,040 stupid angels in the snow. 58 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,700 Dick, you looked adorable. 59 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,900 A grown man lying on his back, flapping his arms in the snow. 60 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,780 It's not adorable. You better burn that picture. 61 00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:46,740 I just want to finish up the room. 62 00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:48,420 How many more do you have? Thirty. 63 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:51,640 I'm going upstairs. 64 00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:54,500 Oh, great. I can get an action shot of you turning down the bed. 65 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:16,660 You do? 66 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,040 Don't worry. 67 00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,760 I'll clean this mess up before I go. 68 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,040 Well, you'd better. 69 00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:35,940 Thanks. 70 00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:41,080 You're welcome. 71 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,420 And don't ask me for anything else. 72 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,100 I'm excited on the perfect picture for the brochure. 73 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,500 The one where you're posing with some of our guests. 74 00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:15,280 I don't remember that one. 75 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,900 Well, it'll only take two seconds. 76 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:22,800 The jolly innkeeper posing with his happy -go -lucky lodgers. 77 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,860 Excuse me. 78 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,400 My wife was wondering if you'd do us a favor. 79 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:33,880 We're eating. 80 00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:41,690 My wife can see that, but she'd like to take a picture of the three of us for 81 00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:43,830 the new Stratford brochure. 82 00:06:44,410 --> 00:06:45,410 Who are you? 83 00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:50,470 I'm Dick Loudon, the jolly innkeeper. 84 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:55,810 Oh, say yes, Art. Maybe he'll leave us alone. 85 00:06:58,490 --> 00:06:59,490 Okay, here we go. 86 00:07:00,430 --> 00:07:02,690 You didn't say you were going to touch us. 87 00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:13,060 lovely. Take the picture, honey. 88 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:17,580 Take the picture. 89 00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:21,480 Take the damn picture, honey. 90 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,600 I'm waiting for the little green light. 91 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,560 Art, he's looking down my blouse. 92 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,280 Oh, that's a good one. 93 00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,380 It's also the last one. 94 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,300 Oh, it's you. 95 00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:51,780 You. 96 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:59,380 I guess Dick and Joanna failed to mention that we require proper attire in 97 00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:00,380 dining room. 98 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:06,720 So if you intend to eat in here, I suggest you either pull your shirt down 99 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:08,640 Pull your pants up. 100 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,160 I'm just having coffee. 101 00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,460 I suppose you want me to stir it for you, too. 102 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,560 If you want. 103 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:54,860 I think 104 00:08:54,860 --> 00:09:02,240 a 105 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:07,880 man with shoulders like that could stir his own coffee. 106 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,250 How's my little sugar plum? 107 00:09:17,530 --> 00:09:19,710 Ooh, someone should send him a message in dress code. 108 00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:23,370 So, ready? The meter's ticking on the sleigh. 109 00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:25,290 Sleigh? 110 00:09:25,570 --> 00:09:27,210 Cuppers, yesterday was the first snowfall. 111 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:31,890 Our annual sleigh ride down Main Street to show off our new winter woolens. 112 00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:35,550 Oh, of course. 113 00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:42,350 Michael, you know how I live for this day, but... This doesn't have to work. 114 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,150 Well, this really ruffles my muffler. 115 00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:49,330 Does this man know respect for tradition? How about this afternoon? 116 00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:52,469 Well, I guess. 117 00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:55,810 Of course, we throw him a curve and show up fashionably late. After seven hours 118 00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:58,250 in foot -freezing weather, those pedestrians will pop their parkas. 119 00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:01,270 Till then, my dreamsicle. 120 00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:09,490 Pumped too much iron? 121 00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:13,130 I must have pulled my belt. 122 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:15,510 Your what? 123 00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,030 My delt. 124 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:19,230 My shoulder. 125 00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:21,210 Oh. 126 00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:23,030 Is it painful? 127 00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:26,890 I can live with it. 128 00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:29,330 Good. 129 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,330 I certainly hope you don't expect me to rub it or anything. 130 00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:36,890 Suit yourself. 131 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,020 Is this the dealt you're talking about? 132 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:32,759 What's this? 133 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,200 It's what I've written for the brochure. 134 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:42,400 As you wake and gaze through the leaded glass window of your elegantly appointed 135 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:48,940 bedchamber, your eyes will fairly dance as they feast upon 136 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:55,900 the verdant panorama of the majestic rolling 137 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:56,900 hills. 138 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:01,470 Exactly where are the hills? 139 00:12:02,290 --> 00:12:05,190 Well, you know, that one out back. 140 00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:09,870 It's not a hill. It's more like a bump. 141 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,630 So I should cut out the word majestic? 142 00:12:15,590 --> 00:12:17,010 That could do it. 143 00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:24,230 Oh, and maple syrup doesn't plummet out of a tree. 144 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,740 It kind of... Cascades? 145 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,840 I was thinking drips. 146 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,780 Of course, that's just one man's verdant opinion. 147 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:42,820 Well, 148 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,200 if what I've done doesn't meet your high standards, fine. 149 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,180 Write the whole damn thing yourself. 150 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,480 Yo. 151 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,020 What are you doing? 152 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,060 Dick, I'm pushing a wheelbarrow. 153 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,420 Isn't that one of the first signs that the world is coming to an end? 154 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:30,480 You're a good little worker. 155 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,900 Oh, I got a kink. 156 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,620 If you'd like, I could rub your shoulder again for you. 157 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:48,820 I'll just... I'll be in if anyway. 158 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:19,410 lenses deceive me, or were your dainty digits actually burrowing that 159 00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:20,410 biceps? 160 00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:29,150 What are you talking about? Steph, I could see with my own peep. 161 00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:30,950 Good God. 162 00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:33,530 Is that soot? 163 00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:37,590 Uh -huh. What's come over you, girl? 164 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,160 Referring to yourself and another man in the same sentence? 165 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,300 I was just doing an honest day's work. 166 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,200 Stoney does it every day. Oh, Stoney does it every day. 167 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,440 Steph, don't you see what's happening to you? You're being swept away by that 168 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,540 wolf in cheap clothing. 169 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,400 Michael, you're acting like a child. I am not. 170 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,680 You like Stoney and you don't like me. 171 00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:12,280 Michael, where are you going? What difference does it make? You've got your 172 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,159 stone man. 173 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,360 Oh, sure, he may... be built like a Greek god and have the strength of ten, 174 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,060 I have something he'll never have. 175 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,480 See, that would be more Joanna's department. 176 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:48,639 Dick, please. 177 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:49,640 Help me. 178 00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:54,940 Stephanie, I'm really... I'm not very good with... with hormones. 179 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,320 Dick, 180 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,820 I don't know what's happening to me. 181 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:12,920 Have you ever been uncontrollably attracted to someone whose powerful 182 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:13,920 slick with sweat? 183 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,520 Dick, I want Stoney. Bad. 184 00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:33,760 Stephanie, I'm not sure I'm the right person. And then again, I still love 185 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,760 Michael. 186 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,420 Oh, Dick, make this feeling go away. 187 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,160 Which one? 188 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:45,320 I'm not sure. 189 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,760 See, I don't know where to begin. 190 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,940 Daddy always used shopping as a metaphor. 191 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:02,300 All right, all right. Let's say you're out shopping for clothes. 192 00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,660 Can we make it sweaters? I love sweaters. 193 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:10,200 Fine, fine. You're out shopping for sweaters. 194 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,400 Good. 195 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:19,060 And you walk into this store and you see this nice blue sweater. 196 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,400 I prefer red. 197 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,540 It's red. 198 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,260 And you'll look great in it. 199 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:25,419 You think? 200 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,420 Yes. 201 00:17:27,979 --> 00:17:34,780 But when you examine it closely, there's something that's not quite you 202 00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:35,980 about it. 203 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,440 It's Orlon. 204 00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:42,340 Whatever. 205 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:50,720 Well, see, Stoney is like that Orlon sweater, and somehow I 206 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,880 just can't picture you going out with a... 207 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,800 Orlon kind of guy. 208 00:17:58,460 --> 00:17:59,460 Go on. 209 00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:02,940 Go on. 210 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:05,420 Go on. 211 00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:12,680 On the other hand, Michael is more... Cashmere. Okay. 212 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,500 Cashmere lasts, and I wear it so well. 213 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,080 Great. 214 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:25,000 So the point is, you're going to have to make up your mind, you know. Is it 215 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,040 Orlan or is it cashmere? 216 00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,020 Daddy would let me have both. 217 00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:33,880 Well, this is my story. 218 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,520 Okay, I'll take the cashmere. 219 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:44,500 But then again, is that Orlan? You can't change your mind. All sales are fine. 220 00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,970 I like your store. The salespeople are so pushy. 221 00:18:52,850 --> 00:18:56,110 Stephanie, is any of this sinking in? I think so. 222 00:18:56,650 --> 00:19:02,710 You're saying that Stoney is sort of a machine knit, whereas Michael is more of 223 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:03,710 a hand -woven. 224 00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:08,270 That's where I was going with it. 225 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:15,070 I'm so glad we're talking in sweaters. It actually makes learning fun. 226 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:18,640 Thanks, Dick. 227 00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:22,520 Well, I guess I'd better go break this to Stoney. 228 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,880 He probably doesn't have any sweaters. 229 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,100 How do I say this using tank tops? 230 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,820 Well, just tell him how you feel without clothes. 231 00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,880 Dick, that would only lead him on. 232 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:45,900 Nice work, Stoney. 233 00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,140 Okay, it's like this. 234 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:04,020 I'm a natural fiber person, and I could never even try on a synthetic, let alone 235 00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:05,120 have one in my closet. 236 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,920 I hope this doesn't destroy you, but we must end this madness now. 237 00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:15,100 I don't understand, but I'm sure I'll get over it. 238 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,780 Not you, George. 239 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,140 Stoney. Oh. 240 00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:25,340 Well, another job done. 241 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,700 I'm out of here. 242 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,800 What do you say we go somewhere for a drink and talk? 243 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,300 I don't think so. 244 00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,520 A clean break is best. 245 00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:37,600 Not you. George. 246 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:39,240 Sure. 247 00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:46,000 Well, you're a good little worker. 248 00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,400 I mean that, Stacey. 249 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,360 How did he take it? He was destroyed. 250 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,480 And they out! 251 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,720 I'll just... If anyone... Michael, 252 00:21:19,220 --> 00:21:20,220 you're soiled. 253 00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:23,240 Never whip a nag before you climb into the carriage. 254 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,360 Should have seen the looks I got dashing through the snow after a one -horse 255 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,360 open sleigh. 256 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,280 I don't know what came over me. 257 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:41,920 It's all my fault. 258 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,620 I was driven by a surge of unbridled lust, but I know with you by my side 259 00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:47,620 never feel that way again. 260 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,320 That's my girl. 261 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,500 Do you think you could forgive me? 262 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,120 What's to forgive? 263 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,900 I never thought for a moment that sturdy stallion was any match for this polo 264 00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:08,900 pony. 265 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,200 Oh, Michael. 266 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:14,200 There have been times my loins, too, have been tempted by animal passion. 267 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:16,960 When? 268 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:19,880 Whoa, look at the time. 269 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,500 Well, if we're going to make that sleigh ride, we better meet back here in an 270 00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,880 hour, cleansed, clothed, and covered in cashmere. 271 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,680 Cashmere. Look at this. 272 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,900 What are you laughing at? Pictures of you, Dick. 273 00:22:56,260 --> 00:22:58,380 George just picked them up at the one -hour photo. 274 00:22:58,700 --> 00:22:59,740 Oh, let me see. 275 00:22:59,980 --> 00:23:00,980 Okay. 276 00:23:03,370 --> 00:23:04,370 These are good. 277 00:23:06,790 --> 00:23:08,830 What's this picture of Stoney doing in here? 278 00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:10,030 Oh, that's mine. 279 00:23:10,190 --> 00:23:11,190 What? 280 00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:19,770 Joanna, let me explain the difference between cashmere and Orlon.